I am a firm believer of everything happens for a reason, some of you may not be but I am and I feel that our heavenly father makes things happen for a reason so other things can happen. I dont know why us losing our baby happened and im grateful to be able to carry him and give him a sweet little body for his spirit and be able to be his mommy. We will always love our little boy. JUDSON JAY WHITBECK Mommy loves you!
Im trying to move on with life and something just seems missing. After the new-ness wore off and it was like "okay he is gone, what do we do from here"? AND im lost. I dont know what to do. I know I need to move on but where do I go?
Im trying to stay involved in other peoples pregnancies... I know it sounds wierd and people would think it would be hard for me, but its not... The mothers out there that share the same feelings with thier babies as i did with mine i am completely happy for and want to find joy with them... I dont want to be a bitter person where people dont want to share that happiness with me or think im not happy for them. Its not me. I am completely happy for all those mothers out there that love their babies and can't wait to hold them and kiss them. What bothers me is those mothers who complain about being pregnant or dont like being pregnant, arent excited, or have their babies and dont care for them or nurture them.
I know there are so many people out there with similar circumstances. It sadens me to know how many people do lose their babies.. There is a program out there called Utah share.. Its a program of all mothers that lose thier babies and they are soooo nice. It makes me so happy to know there are so many good wonderful people out there that want to help. A lady came and took pictures of us with our baby in the hospital and another came and did foot and hand molds for us. They call you and check up with you to make sure your okay. I just love them and all the wonderful people who are willing to help and be there for you. Its the kind of person I want to be.
I am so grateful for my little Brielle, She makes me SO happy and I can do anything being her mom.
I also believe everything happens for a reason. Your family is going to be so much stronger now because of that baby boy. Even though it's hard to not be able to hold and kiss him now, it's a blessing to know that you have his sweet spirit waiting for you and your husband to come home to him. He's your for eternity, even if he's not with you now. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteI just read this and almost cried. You are truly amazing, and so strong. Its okay to feel lost. You've just had a big loss, and its important to let yourself take as much time as you need to to grieve. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it would be. I'm glad you had so much support, I had no idea about that organization and I think its a great thing what they do. You hang in there! love you. :)
ReplyDeleteRach, your so beautiful in every way! If there is anything you ever need, don't hesitate to ask...Because your friends and family love you and want to help! I am grateful for your strong example of being a mother. Thanks Rachael. Love you :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in 5th grade we lost my little sister to SIDS when she was 4 1/2 months old, and David and I lost a baby about four months in to my first pregnancy. I can't tell you why, or how, but life just goes on. And the hurt never goes away, you just learn to live with it or live around it. You will be ok, and loss always makes us stronger. Hugs to you! ♥
ReplyDeleteHali
Oh, and about the people that did the hand molds, they really are great. They did one for my mom when my sister passed, and it is one of her most loved pieces. More people should be like them...
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